Mr. Stoneyheart's Surprise

By some unknown means I have acquired a litter of fledglings. Being a man about town I cannot possibly look after them in draughty art galleries and so I have moved into Old Bert’s apartment during his absence.

1am When troubles come they come not single spies but in battalions

2am Absinthe: The panacea for all ill to my aid, perhaps this is nothing but a bad dream.

3am, awake and fractious, demanding milk and solace. Staring, blinking like myopic owlets behind thick tortoise-shell spectacles.

4am and asleep at last!

5am awake and dancing! It’s going to be a long day

Next instalment – I find a nanny.

Merciless0413 Stoneyheart as told to Boye Jervil

Detective Braveheart Takes Charge

Old Bert got up bright and early, enthusiastically anticipating the coming day. He showered, got dressed and had a good breakfast, all in preparation for his time at the Pre-Raphaelite Gallery, followed by an evening with Daisy, perhaps going to a movie. He washed his dishes and left everything neat and tidy, then went off to work.

Miss Merriweather was at the gallery when he arrived. He was pleased to see her; they had become great friends as well as colleagues. As he entered the shop Miss Merriweather called “Old Bert, come and see this, something strange is going on!” Old Bert went over to where Miss Merriweather was standing with a puzzled expression on her face. There at the back of the gallery were a few paintings by Tissot.

Old Bert said “Maybe Mr. Stoneyheart has decided to branch out and start telling Tissots as well as Pre-Raphaelites. But it is very odd since there is already the Tissot Gallery not too far from here.”

While Old Bert was speaking Miss Merriweather read the notecards that had arrived while she was offline. Included was one from the SL Police that had been sent to gallery owners and managers following the robbery. Miss Merriweather read it aloud, scarcely believing what she was saying.

“Old Bert listen to this!”

“Yesterday a burglary took place at the Tissot Gallery in Victoriana Harbour. Artworks by James Tissot were taken from the gallery. A list of the works in question has been attached to this note. We are warning all gallery owners to immediately report any avatars who approach them with any of these works. In addition, a witness has described someone whom we consider an avatar of interest. This avatar is elderly, shorter than average and known as “Old Bert”. If you should see this avatar or know of anything related to this burglary please IM Detective Braveheart.”

Miss Merriweather and Old Bert stared at each other in shock.

“Miss Merriweather, I don’t understand” Old Bert stammered. “I have visited the Tissot Gallery, but I would never steal those paintings! How can anyone say it was me!”

Miss Merriweather replied “Of course I know that, Old Bert. But how did these paintings end up here? This makes no sense.”

Just at that moment Dectective Braveheart entered the gallery, joining Old Bert and Miss Merriweather. He spotted the artworks and turned towards Old Bert saying “How do you explain this?”

“I don’t know, I have no idea” cried Old Bert.

“Where were you last evening?”

“I was working here in the gallery until 9 pm. Then I returned home.”

“Did anyone see you here?”

“No, it was a quiet night; no one came into the gallery.”

“What about at home, did anyone see you there?”

“No, I live alone, no one else was about.”

The detective then asked Miss Merriweather what she had been doing.

“Last night I went out with some friends, we went to see Ballet Pixelle and then on to a club.”

“You’ll have to give me the names of your friends Miss Merriweather.”

“So Old Bert, were you in this alone?” Detective Braveheart demanded.

“I haven’t done anything, I don’t know where those paintings came from!”

“We have a witness who says you were in the Tissot Gallery moving paintings around.”

“There must be some mistake. I have been to the Tissot Gallery, but not for a while and I have never moved any paintings around there.”

“Well, Old Bert, you’ll have to come with me.”

Old Bert was frantic.

“Miss Merriweather, help me, please help me!”

Miss Merriweather addressed the detective saying “I’m sure there is some dreadful mistake here. Old Bert is very reliable and honest. Someone else must have done this.”

But Detective Braveheart was unmoved. “I’m sorry, but I have to take Old Bert with me while we investigate further.” And with that he took Old Bert off to the police station.

Miss Merriweather was stunned by this turn of events. She reported what had happened to Mr. Stoneyheart, and then remembering how much Old Bert had talked about Daisy, she decided to contact her to let her know what had happened.

While all this was taking place Daisy was doing some shopping, thinking about the evening ahead. When she received the IM from Miss Merriweather and learned what had happened she was overcome and burst into tears. She soon rallied, realizing that Old Bert needed her. She immediately tp’d over to the police station, where she was allowed to see Old Bert.

What a sight met her eyes! Poor Old Bert was in a cell, collapsed on a bench in the corner. When he heard the sound of footsteps he looked up and upon seeing Daisy, leapt to his feet and ran over to the bars, trying in vain to hug her.

“Oh, Bert” whispered Daisy over and over. Old Bert just looked at her, unable to speak.
“What happened?”

“I just don’t know” he replied. “I don’t understand any of it.”

They stood together a little while longer. Finally Daisy said “I’ll find out. I know this is a terrible mistake. Miss Merriweather feels the same. We’ll get to the bottom of this, don’t you worry. Try and remain strong, remember we are working for you.”

With that Daisy was told she had to leave. Poor Old Bert was left all alone in his cell. After watching Daisy leave, he threw up his arms in despair, crying “How can this be? What will happen to me?”

Hibiscus Hastings

The Investigation Begins

Poor Miss O’Riley was completely overcome. She had sunk all her savings into the venture and couldn’t see how she was going to recover from this blow. She wandered around the empty gallery, then went upstairs to her apartment and just sat for a while, her mind going over and over what she had just seen. After a few minutes had passed she began to revive and called the police. A handsome officer named Detective Braveheart came right over.
Detective Braveheart asked Miss O’Riley for a list of the works that had been stolen. Being an organized woman she had one at hand, with titles, descriptions and pictures of the artworks that had been stolen. As Miss O’Riley began to focus on the work ahead of her, her mood changed from one of despair to anger at the person who had done this to her.
The detective inquired if she had seen any suspicious people in her gallery recently, but she said no. Various residents of the sim had dropped by, as well as some friends of hers, but nothing out of the way had happened, at least not while she was in-world. Unfortunately the welcome mat only recorded the number of visitors to the gallery and not the names, so there was no way of telling who had been in. Over the holidays there had been a slight increase in numbers, but that was to be expected.
After talking for a while with Miss O’Riley, Detective Braveheart left and began to search the area around the gallery. He also spoke with some of the neighbours. One man did recall seeing someone in the gallery moving artworks around, but he did not think anything of it at the time. The man said the visitor was shorter than average and older, too, with grey hair. When asked if he could recall the name of the avatar, the neighbour said he thought it was something like “Old Bert”.
In the meantime, Miss O’Riley sent an urgent IM to Mr. Stoneyheart, begging him to come right over as something dreadful had happened and she needed his help.

With thanks to Boye Jervil for the photograph of Old Bert moving frames.

A New Year Dawns

Old Bert enjoyed the holiday season very much. He and Daisy continued seeing each other, going to holiday parties together, visiting art galleries,

dancing and touring different sims. They enjoyed a lovely carriage ride around Victoriana on Christmas Eve and exchanged Christmas presents.

On the professional front things were going well, too. Old Bert by this point had settled into his job at the Pre-Raphaelite Gallery and was taking on more responsibilities as he grew familiar with the sim and with the artworks belonging to the gallery. It was one of the happiest times of Old Bert’s life.

Mr. Stoneyheart continued from strength to strength personally and professionally. He had managed to reassure Gloria after their disastrous weekend cruise. At the same time he kept in touch with Miss O’Riley, the Tissot Gallery owner, maintaining a watchful eye on that particular enterprise. Miss O’Riley, of course, was very pleased about this.

Then one day early in the New Year Miss O’Riley arrived at work to discover that all the artworks, except the free gift painting, had been stolen. She stood and stared at the empty walls in horror and as it all began to sink in she burst into tears and began running frantically from room to room, trying to make sense of what she saw. She so desperately wanted everything to be just as it had been when she left work the night before. But that could not be. A burglary had taken place and all her paintings were gone!

Hibiscus Hastings

Mr. Stoneyheart Gets Down to Business

One day after work, Old Bert decided to go back to Victoriana Harbour and visit the Tissot Gallery. He walked along Knightsbridge Avenue and down towards the Harbour, admiring the scenery as he went and observing that winter was upon them. Feeling the nip in the air, he decided that he needed to get his winter gear out and would do that as soon as he got home.
Arriving at the Tissot Gallery he was pleased to see that the owner was present, as he had not had to opportunity to talk with her last time. Miss O’Riley welcomed Old Bert and invited him in for a cup of tea.

They had a very pleasant chat about the artworks on display and life in general in the Victoriana sims. Miss O’Riley told Old Bert that she had decided to open the gallery because she admired the work of James Tissot - his attention to detail, especially to the clothing of the ladies he portrayed, the astute understanding of and humourous approach to the depiction of every day life, but most of all by the warmth of the domestic scenes the artist had painted of his love and muse, Kathleen Newton. Theirs was a tragic love story. James Tissot (born Joseph-Jacques Tissot in Nantes, France) had come to England to live and work. He became a successful artist and was accepted by the society of the day. Then he met Kathleen Newton, a beautiful young divorcée and they fell in love. The couple did not marry, but lived together in Tissot’s house in St. John’s Wood. This meant that Tissot was no longer accepted in society, so instead he stayed quietly home with Mrs. Newton and her two children, entertaining artist friends and those who accepted the relationship. Unfortunately Mrs. Newton died at the age of 28 from tuberculosis, and Tissot returned to France.

Old Bert, being a soft hearted avatar, was touched by the story and by Miss O’Riley’s decision to bring Tissot’s art into Second Life. He thought Daisy would enjoy seeing the paintings, too, so he planned on bringing her to the gallery sometime.
While Old Bert was busy finding his new life, Merciless0413 Stoneyheart continued running his businesses and advancing his relationship with Gloria. Mr. Stoneyheart was currently doing the rounds of all his businesses, visiting his managers and keeping up to date with all that was going on. One day he stopped into the Pre-Raphaelite Gallery, as he was the owner, to discuss the business with its manager, Miss Merriweather.

Miss Merriweather showed Mr. Stoneyheart the accounts and reported on all that had happened at the gallery since his last visit. She told him “I have hired Old Bert as my assistant. He is a very good worker and easy to get along with. He keeps the gallery in order and has even helped me install some of the artworks as he has some good ideas about display.” Mr. Stoneyheart answered “Yes, I know Old Bert and thought when you first mentioned him that he would make a good employee. He rents an apartment in one of my buildings. He is always punctual with his payments and is a quiet tenant. I am sure he will be an asset here. Has anything else happened since my last visit?”

Miss Merriweather thought for a moment, then replied “Well, the sims recently made it into the SL Showcase, so traffic has increased.” Mr. Stoneyheart was pleased to hear this. She continued on “And a new gallery has opened in Victoriana Harbour, the Tissot Gallery.” Mr. Stoneyheart mulled this over. “Tissot is an interesting painter, perhaps I will go have a look at the gallery. This may bring more people who are interested in 19th Century art into Victoriana.” He then took his leave saying “Thank you, Miss Merriweather, as usual you are doing an excellent job. I will see you again next month”.

Mr. Stoneyheart left the Pre-Raphaelite Gallery and made his way to the Tissot Gallery. He was pleased to see Miss O’Riley was there and upon entering the gallery said “Hello Miss O’Riley, my name is Mercy Stoneyheart. As a fellow gallery owner I would like to welcome you to the neighbourhood.”

Miss O’Riley was quite taken with Mr. Stoneyheart’s charming and open manner as well as his striking appearance. She thanked him for coming, showing him the gallery and then inviting him to her office so they could have a chat about the art business.

Miss O’Riley confided that she was new to the business. Mr. Stoneyheart observed that she seemed to have a great love of the works of Tissot and communicating the passion she felt was going to help her in making a success of her business. He went on “I, too, am a great admirer of this artist, particularly because of his devotion to Mrs. Newton. Who could not be touched by that?”
Miss O’Riley was delighted by this, feeling that there was a bond between Mr. Stoneyheart and herself. As Mr. Stoneyheart rose to leave, he shook her hand warmly, saying “I look forward to seeing you again in the future. If you have any questions about running your business, please do not hesitate to get in touch. I’d be very pleased to help. ”

Miss O’Riley, with sparkling eyes and a happy smile responded that she would indeed look forward to their next meeting.

Hibiscus Hastings

Old Bert and Daisy

Old Bert kept in contact with Daisy, im’ing her and chatting. He found that they had similar tastes and lots to talk about, so feeling encouraged by this he decided to ask her to go dancing, as she had said it was something she particularly enjoyed but didn’t often have the opportunity to do.

Before dancing Old Bert took Daisy on a balloon tour of the Victoriana sims. This helped to serve as an ice breaker; the tour was a leisurely one allowing them to work off the first date jitters watching the scenery pass by and commenting on whatever struck their fancy.

After this they went to the Angel Ballroom sim. They had a lovely time, starting off in the ballroom then exploring the surrounding area where they found a ship anchored nearby, much to Old Bert’s delight, so they ended the evening dancing on the deck. The time passed quickly and they made arrangements to meet up again and to go skating.

A few days later they got together at Winter Angel Woods, lacing on their skates and going round and round the frozen pond. Next they made snow angels, laughing at the sight they made lying out in the snow.

Quite tired by this time they headed over to a little campfire thoughfully provided by the sim owner, where they sat quietly next to each other, relaxing and thinking over the past few days.

Old Bert was remembering how unhappy he had been, without a home, a job or friends. True, his home was very humble, but he now worked in the Pre-Raphaelite Gallery, surrounded by art works he loved, he had friends in the 1920’s Berlin Project, the Nation of Victoriana and Cafe Trivia, and he had met Daisy, who shared his interests and seemed to take pleasure in his company, as he did in hers. Daisy, for her part, reflected upon what a kind and gentle person Old Bert was. Absorbed in their thoughts, the two of them remained seated cosily next to each other, oblivious to the passage of time or the presence of others in the sim.

The First Date

Gloria left Mr. Stoneyheart’s home and returned to her apartment, falling into a deep sleep after her tumultuous day. She woke up the next morning much lighter of heart than she had felt for a long time. Clearly, meeting Mr. Stoneyheart had helped her distance herself from the pain of the past couple of months and the breakup with her boyfriend.

Mr. Stoneyheart, too, was feeling unusually cheerful. Always an energetic person, there was an added jauntiness to his step as he went off to work that day. He had enjoyed his time with Gloria and wanted to continue seeing her, so he sent her a notecard asking her to go dancing with him later that evening. Gloria accepted his invitation and they both spent the next few hours in happy anticipation of the evening to come.


After work Mr. Stoneyheart went home and changed, then TP’d to Midnight Reflections, a beautiful sim perfect for a first date. He IM’d Gloria at the appointed time and then TP’d her over. They began their evening at the main dance floor but after a while moved away from that area, walking along the pathways until finding a more private place. They began to dance again, but this time without the distraction of other avatars and their noisy chat. Only the sound of the waterfall and the music could be heard as they danced and occasionally chatted, but much of the time they spent in silence, delighting in the comfort of each other’s presence.

As the sun began to rise they wandered on, strolling through the sim and enjoying the scenery. They started ascending one of the hills, stopping part way to look out over the water. Gloria, feeling relaxed and contented, spontaneously hugged Mr. Stoneyheart.

Continuing on they came to the top of the hill where there was a bench placed for avatars to rest after the steep climb. They sat there together and Mr. Stoneyheart, who perhaps surprisingly had a love of poetry, quoted the words of WB Yeats to Gloria, whispering softly

O CLOUD-PALE eyelids, dream-dimmed eyes,
The poets labouring all their days
To build a perfect beauty in rhyme
Are overthrown by a woman's gaze
And by the unlabouring brood of the skies:
And therefore my heart will bow, when dew
Is dropping sleep, until God burn time,
Before the unlabouring stars and you.

Hibiscus Hastings

Old Bert's Day Off

Old Bert quickly settled into his new routine, going off to work, playing trivia and continuing to explore the metaverse. At the end of one workday (and a very jolly workday it had been since it involved testing beer!) Old Bert decided to take a peek at the Nation of Victoriana, a sim he had found while checking profiles. He enjoyed thematic sims, so he was very much looking forward to this little outing.

The Nation of Victoriana is a collection of sims created in the style of the Victorian period. It is a beautifully built place, done with great attention to detail by the owner and mayor, LittleBlackDuck Lindsay. Old Bert tp’d to Victoriana Square, the heart of the sims, arriving at the train station.

Facing the station and right in the center of the square was a large community hall. Surrounding the square were shops, galleries and a pub. After everything had rezzed Old Bert began to stroll around. As he got to the far side of the square he came across the start of a fox hunt, one of the monthly events held in the sim. It was a colourful scene; Old Bert made sure to stand off to the side so as not to be trampled as the hunt began. He happened to be next to an art gallery and since he was something of an aficionado he entered and had a look around, admiring the many fine artworks on display. Finding himself to be rather tired after his full day at work (!) Old Bert decided to return home and explore Victoriana more thoroughly another time.

On his next day off, Old Bert returned to Victoriana. Being a person drawn to the sea, he started off at Victoriana Harbour.

Next he went to Victoriana Carnivale, a great funfair. There were lots of games and rides for him to try – he played the coconut shy, tried the SLeeBall at which he scored 220, not bad for a first try, took a turn on the Big Wheel and went for a ride on the carrousel. He felt a bit dizzy after that and decided it was time to continue on, so he walked through Victoriana Forest and came to the entrance of the big maze at Victoriana Hedgemaze.

Old Bert spent quite a bit of time trying to find his way around and at the end felt a bit tired and hungry. As he emerged from the maze he noticed a pretty young woman tending the flowers next to a building, which fortuitously turned out to be a tea room.

Old Bert asked her if the tea room was open and was happy to hear that it was. He went inside and chose from the delectable array of food on display which the young woman brought to him along with a reviving cup of tea. Much fortified, Old Bert then continued on to Victoriana Square and the Pre-Raphaelite Gallery which he had visited the day he had seen the hunt.

As Old Bert approached the gallery he noticed a sign in the window saying “Help Wanted”. This gave Old Bert pause. He had enjoyed his time in the gallery and was quite familiar with the art on display. While he liked the work he was currently doing he found it to be physically tiring. Walking into the gallery Old Bert began to wonder “What if I applied for this job?”

With thanks to Boye Jervil for the pictures of Old Bert.

Hibiscus Hastings

Home Time

At five o' clock my day's work is through and one last visit to the communal loo....

I jump on my bike and shout ‘hooray’, I’ve remembered my surgical saddle today....

A pie for dinner, what a selection, this one is worthy of inspection.....

I stop at the pub for a glass of beer, monks and all sorts come in here.....

Home at last I watch TV, sit on my bench and drink my tea....

Night draws on and so to bed, I have no sheets, the cold I dread....

Boye Jervil

Old Bert The Worker

"I wake up every morning when the clock strikes eight. I'm always punctual never never late"

"With a nice cup of tea, a little round of toast, the Sporting Life and the Winning Post"

"I gets all nice and tidy then I toddle off to work",

"I do the best I can".

"Still I'm only a doing what a bloke should do, cause I'm only a working man".




Boye Jervil